submitted by Bench
Sorry for mailing this in late. I frankly didn’t realize there was a Thursday game and then got hit with a bunch of last minute, immediate deadline work. I will happily forfeit my royalties to the Brady Aiken signing fund.
Ah, the Blue Jays. Toronto is a gorgeous city to visit… in the summer. I was there a few summers ago and after having a delightful couple of days sailing, hiking and eating Georgian Bay white fish on the Bruce Peninsula on Lake Huron I hit the big city for a few days. Delightful trip. I took my picture with the Stanley Cup at the NHL Hall of Fame, saw the Blue Jays beat the Yankees in a virtually empty Skydome, and spent a lovely summer day strolling around Toronto Island. Anyway, Canada is awesome except for Niagara Falls which is place of eternal natural beauty and human sadness.
The Blue Jays are nipping at the Orioles’ heels at the top of the AL East, which is a refreshing change from the usual Yankee/Red Sox dichotomy of entitlement. And we get an extra opportunity for a post-anthem standoff with the addition of O Canada before the game. Stand on guard for thee, forsooth.
Meanwhile the Astros are schizophrenically getting swept by the Marlins and then coming back to one pitch away from sweeping the A’s who are winning all the games and all the trades. I guess the front office’s game of rope-a-dope worked on the fish who gave up the sneaky “inside baseball best trade of the trading deadline” because it solely allows for pundits to speculate without having to be proven right or wrong anytime soon.
Anyway, the Astros are ahead of the Rangers on percentage points again so I’m printing ticker tape in case there’s a parade.
There’s a lot of baseball ceremony in town this weekend. The annual SABR convention is taking place at the Royal Sonesta in the Galleria if you misplace your VORP. This series is Legends Weekend in which the Astros will be honoring various alumni who “played integral roles in the franchise’s storied history” according to Astros.com. Friday night is a Berkman bobblehead night, Saturday is a legends autograph special featuring the following schedule:
5:00
-Jimmy Wynn – Bob Aspromonte
- Billy Smith - Johnny Edwards
- Carl Warwick - Bill Heath
- Milo Hamilton – Gerald Young
5:20
- Jose Cruz – J.R. Richard
- Jerry DaVanon - Glenn Davis
- Ron Brand – Eric Anthony
- Louie Meadows - Jerry Mumphrey
5:40
- Larry Dierker – Bob Watson
- Anthony Young - Roger Metzger
- Bob Bruce - Enos Cabell
- Tony McKnight - Ryan Bowen
So you know where to go for that Tony McKinght autograph that your collection was no doubt missing. Unfortunately honoring Meluskey by washing his mouth out with soap has been canceled. Nevertheless, if you happen to run into him it is still recommended.
July 31, 2014
So yeah, the bullpen. Oof.
The MMPUS menu featured “Texas Poutine” featuring shoe string fries and a smoked chipotle gravy, smothered in mushrooms, pico and cheese and topped with green onions. That’s about as authentic as any poutine you would get in Toronto and I’d certainly eat the fuck out of it. But really, if you want the real deal stick to Quebec.
August 1, 2014 – 7:10pm
JA Happ (8-5 4.58 ERA)
The formerly hapless one has found a good degree of success pitching in the True North. Not many Astros have faced Happ (a theme for the season), with only Fowler and Guzman getting a hit off him. Both doubles though.
Collin McHugh (4-9 3.45 ERA)
McHugh is still pitching well, despite being 0-6 with a 4.46 ERA in his last six starts. Yes, I know that seems impossible, but his stuff is still good. He’s suffered with command, bad luck, and the post-May Astros ineffective offense. McHugh doesn’t have much of a history against the Blue Jays, facing only Francisco and Reyes who collectively went 2-4 with a triple and homerun off of him.
In news I did not know, every Friday from 4:30-6:00pm is St. Arnold Happy Hour, featuring $5, 12-ounce beers at the St. Arnold’s Bar in left field.
August 2, 2014 – 6:10pm
R.A. Dickey (9-10 3.91 ERA)
The Cy Young winner has reverted to the up and down fortunes of any good knuckleballer. He tossed a beaut in his last game, striking out ten Red Sox while allowing just one run on three hits in seven innings. Castro and Dominguez have had success against Dickey and Grossman has a homerun in one of two at bats against him.
Brett Oberholtzer (3-7 4.30 ERA)
Oberholtzer has quietly been putting together a good campaign recently, going 3-1 with a 3.15 ERA in his last seven starts and looking for his fifth consecutive quality start. He’s one of many who have surrendered a home run to Jose Bautista, but other than that has had an unusual amount of success against the Blue Jays. Oberholtzer is from Delaware, which actually explains a lot. When I was in college we’d sometimes drive down from Boston to D.C., or even one year to spring training in Florida. We’d always speculate about the Delaware Joint Experiment: Would it be possible to smoke one joint for the entirety of Delaware, lighting up after exiting the first toll and finishing up getting into the final toll? We were never successful but I think we were just greedy and didn’t time it right. Anyway, the scenery looked a lot like Oberholtzer. Tough to describe, generally ineffective and left handed.
It’s an Andy Pettitte jersey giveaway day, so if you get subpoenaed and aren’t comfortable with the truth just wear that to court.
August 3, 2014 – 1:10pm
Marcus Stroman (7-2 3.03)
Stroman has won his last four decisions, including a 16 inning scoreless streak that was snapped by the one run he gave up in his last appearance. He’s pitched a quality start in 9 of 11 outings this season. Stroman has never faced the Astros. Expect to get our asses kicked.
Scott Feldman (4-8 4.39 ERA)
Feldman hasn’t won since June 29th, but looked very good in his last start which was erased by a 6 run ninth inning blowpen job. That was certainly the best he looked since before his brief stint on the DL in April. Feldman has been lit up by Adam Lind, but he’s on the DL. Bautista is hitting .385/.438/.769 against Feldman over his career, so hopefully he’ll limit the runners on base when Jose comes up to bat.
Sunday is Roy Oswalt bobblehead treats for the first 10,000 fans (or the last 300 fans if you’re in the diamond club. They keep extra down there).
Those are the facts, and they are not in dispute.
Astros steal a split somehow.