All it takes is 2 homers and shut out pitching in 2-0 victory.
WP: Feldman (5-5)
LP: Heston (11-7)
S: Gregerson (23)
Submitted by Mr. Sphinx Drummond
Club Astro head honcho Jose Altuve, or “Big Shorty”, as he is known on the inside, is constantly flanked by his goons body guards Chris Carter (AKA Crunch) and Evan Gattis (AKA Caveman). They make a hard time for anyone who thinks they can mess with the diminutive leader. If Jose Altuve is to Club Astro what Frank Sinatra was to the Rat Pack, then George Springer (AKA Cool Breeze) is definitely the Dean Martin equivalent. It’s too bad that Club Astro is not a road show because the team could sure use the mojo that Club Astro brings when they are playing at home.
Wednesday morning a strange package arrived in the visitors locker room at AT&T Park. Jose told Marwin Gonzalez (AKA El Rey) to, “take the package into the shower to open it, while the rest of us wait out in the hallway in case it explodes or something.” Marwin will do anything but make eye contact with Evan Gattis.
So Marwin ventured alone into the showers while the rest of the team hunkered down out in the hallway behind a vending machine and waited. After a few tense moments Marwin emerged with a broad toothy grin and holding above his head a disco ball. Not just any disco ball but the Disco Ball. The one and only Disco Ball from Club Astro (and before that the original Dome Shadows Disco Ball but that is a different story best left untold). Bill Brown (AKA Brownie), sensing the Astros were missing something and could use a boost had shipped the Club Astro Disco Ball to San Francisco.
It worked! Mired in the midst of a 1 and 7 road trip with one game left to play, the magic of Club Astro was reborn, at least for one day, the Disco Ball did its job!
Scott Feldman (AKA Methuselah) showed why the cagey veteran is part of the rotation with an impressive six innings of shut out baseball, allowing no runs on 4 hits, while walking 1 and striking out 4. Oliver Perez (AKA New Guy), Will Harris (AKA Hairy), and Pat Neshek (AKA It’s Pat), were lock down solid in relief and Luke Gregerson (AKA Just Plain Luke) pitched the ninth to pick up his 23rd save in 28 attempts. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the Five Man Shut Out Band.
It was a classic pitcher duel until the seventh inning when Colby Rasmus (AKA Hey Dude) hit a solo homerun. He said he was happy to see the Disco Ball but if Brownie had sent the Club Astro mechanical bull instead, he probably would have hit 4 homers. Jed Lowrie hit a solo homer in the 8th inning to cap the scoring. Jed Lowrie, who is know as Dred Lowrie in the realms of Club Astro, said the Disco Ball helped but he also was listening to Bob Marley all day and wouldn’t dismiss the influence of the Great One.
The Astros have the day off Thursday and will welcome JD Martinez and Brad Ausmus and the rest of the Tigers to Houston for a 7:10pm CST start time. Alfredo Simon (10-6 4.74 ERA) faces Dallas Keuchel (13-6 2.40 ERA) to start off the three game series.
Attendance – 41967
Game Time – 2:54