by Great Bagwell’s Beard
You know how when you had a cool substitute teacher, they’d just roll in the a/v cart, pop in a movie, dim the lights and everyone got to watch an age-appropriate movie for ninety minutes? I’m subbing in on this preview, and we’re gonna watch a movie instead of the usual anecdotes about quotidian travails of life.
Because honestly, I can’t think of a better way to get pumped up for some dog-day baseball than these mixes.
https://soundcloud.com/maddecent/blood-bros-first-blood
https://soundcloud.com/maddecent/blood-bros-heaven2hell
https://soundcloud.com/maddecent/blood-bros-iii-back-in
Probable Pitchers
Thursday, August 14th
6:10 CT, Fenway Paaaaaaaahk
Scott Feldman (6-8, 4.14) v. Allen Webster (2-1, 4.97)
Feldman has settled into a nice stretch lately. Maybe it’s that tall new outfielder. Napoli and something called Brock Holt (BROCK HOLT!) have hit him well.
Webster looks like a kindly youth pastor. Come over here and let him tell you how to better channel your sexual frustration, you crusty-socked thirteen year old, you. He’s never faced the Astros.
Friday, August 15th
6:10 CT, Owwah Paaaahk Has Mo-ah History Than Yo-ah Paahk
Dallas Keuchel (10-8, 3.07) v. Clay Buchholz (5-7, 5.99)
At the beginning of the season, this would’ve looked like an Ace v. #4 Starter matchup. And it still is. Only 2 BoSox have more than two AB’s against Kid Keuchy, and one of them is Cespedes.
Buchholz has disappointed this year, much like the Red Sox as a whole, and like most Legal Seafood restaurants. Just a rough year all around. Carter has only struck out once against him. Which is cool. Castro hits him well.
Saturday, August 16th
6:10 CT, Our Regional Quirks Are Endearing But Texans Are All Bushneck Idiots Park
Brad Peacock (3-8, 5.25) v. Rubby De La Rosa (4-4, 3.21)
The best thing about 2015 will be that it’ll take a LOT of injuries before Peacock thrust into the rotation again. Cespedes has hit two dingers off him 10 AB’s. Awesome. He’s never gotten Ortiz out. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Rubby De La Rosa. Rubby. Even if he throws a perfect game, I’ll still be chortling about his name.
Sunday, August 17th
Collin McHugh (5-9, 3.08) v. Joe Kelly (0-0, 2.08)
McHugh has seemed better than 5-9, right? Looking forward to him filling the Brandon Backe Memorial Trash Heap Pickup HOF role for the next couple of years. Ironically, he’s only faced Kelly from the Sox.
Kelly came over from the Cards, and has pitched pretty well so far. He’s never really faced the Astros. He also looks like Rob Corddry.
Injuries
Astros
Albers – throwing off a mound.
Cisnero – still TJ’ing.
Crain – THOSE CHECKS ARE STILL CLEARING, RIGHT BUDDY?
Guzman – why bother DL’ing a guy who doesn’t even play?
Presley – on rehab
Springer – shut down for 2 weeks.
Zeid – DONE.
Sox
Cespedes – right hand contusion. Jackin’ it.
Craig – Right foot. “Baseball activities” can resume soon. Like scratching and racism?
Ross – Plantar fascitis. Is he a marathon runner or a catcher?
Victorino – out for season.
Prrrrrromotions!
I shit you not, Saturday and Sunday are Vermont Day and Connecticut Day, respectively. Can you imagine if the Astros held Louisiana and Arkansas Day? The mind boggles.
What To Watch For
- 2 out of 3 CF’s in the outfield, and that ain’t bad.
- Pedroia towering over Altuve
- Massholes
Talk about it in the Game Zone!